Don't get me wrong, im a huge anime geek. But there are a few things i just cant get my head around when it comes to fans and merchandise. DVDs, Mangas and Games are cool, i can even cope with figurines (some are exceptional well made but im still not a collector). Though there is still much out there i just don't understand.
This leads me to my first subject, Anime Love/ Hug Pillows. So before i express my opinion on Love (stain) Pillows i would like to say a few words to the people who own one for any other reason than "its Cute" (only girls applicable). I care very little if your are offended by me view, you should not rage at what i say but take note of it instead. Owning a love pillow will have nothing but negative effects upon your future, i assure you no good will come of it. Wrapping your arms and legs over a squishy 2D anime babe does not mean your getting some, it means quite the opposite. Read on....
Anime Love/ Hug Pillows
What is a Anime Love Pillow? Well on most Anime goods sites (Brave Enough to sell them) they are roughly described as Over sized pillows that are designed to be huggable, They are security objects and usually never leave the grasp of sleeping children (I call BS on this, +80% are of an erotic nature) though the comfort provided is so addictive (An excuse to make you feel less like a loser when you buy one) that older Men and Women (Women, Orly?) use them to snuggle up with there favorite anime character (or a 2D school girl ) at night.
What an Anime Love Pillow really is:
For Men:
- An item of relief for young to middle age who are too self conscious about there weight, anime obsession or undersized manhood to try and get a real woman by there side. (Not healthy)
- A tissue used to wipe away tears (and other bodily fluids) shed because your failing at life and fear of dying without your own house and the warmth of a real 3D woman. (Let me tell you something, No woman wants a man who dry humps a large pillow to wash away there sorrows. Grow a pair, degenerate)
- A cloud used to bury your head in when you realize you have not seen the real world for a considerable amount of time. An attempt to comfort yourself when your absent of social skills and real world interaction, this due to excessively watching anime causing you to become deluded and confused, wondering why the world you live in is not like that of the 2D one you spend all of your time with.
For Women:
- Another BL item to fawn over.
For children:
- I Cute/ Cool pillow for comfort. Nothing wrong about it, shame it could not stay that way.
What a Love Pillow looks like:
As i stated above, love pillows are usually of an erotic nature. The majority of designs out there are female characters not yet old enough to have left school (a definite cause of concern towards there owners). Il give you some examples missing out those containing pornographic images as i don't want to sully my blog. : )
I Almost Cried When I Saw This One
This ones a shocker, proof that girls do buy them perhaps (at least i hope its girls who buy them) but i don't have to point out that we still have a problem here.
Yes, my opinion is extremely bias. I feel that there is reason to be so. If i sat here and told the owners/ partners of these pillows that there normal and everything was going to be ok for them, that would just be a lie. I know that bad publicity has swayed my opinion on the subject, a story of a 37 year old mans 3 year relationship with a Nemu (from Da Capo) Pillow who has traveled hundreds of miles around Kyoto, Osaka and Nara on vacation with his love pillow. He states that his relationship as blissful but chaste.
Ok, i will admit there is no hope for some.
You may be asking, how can i place judgment on these people because of one man experiencing a false reality during his mid life crisis?
Well the truth is that Japanese Love Pillows have given many Otaku a way out of the pains caused by social interaction between different sexes. The feeling of security given to weak men mostly in need of simple companionship is taking away what little chance they had to live a normal (and i use the term loosely) life. Love Pillows are aiding the ever rising number of neets in this world and i feel they are playing a mentionable part.
Every man who buys a love pillow may think it harmless at first and without realizing be dragging them selves into a world of hurt. The initial false sense of security gained from having your ideal girlfriend by your side at night will not last forever. The real tears will come when you wake up to find that your worn, crispy hump pillow is not returning your love like you convinced yourself it had in the past.
The popularity of Love Pillows spreads as more otaku convince there friends to purchase one as well, probably so they don't feel so ashamed about dating a pillow. The number of men (mainly Japanes) turning away from real woman and making statements such as "Im not looking for a real girlfriend, 2D ones are better" are simply just too scared of failure they have given up on finding a human partner altogether. All i can say is that Erotic Love Pillows (most love pillows) should be removed from sale or at least advertised as a sex toy. There is no real need for them to exist and i would urge any one considering buying one to rethink the next 5-10 years of there life.
The Question is: Do You Fit In This Picture?
If your not ready for a Pillow Orgy, Don't buy one.
Thank you for reading this post, hope you had fun (i did) and i will be back with another There's something wrong here post next week and many interesting posts every day to come.
(also, if there are any female readers here that own a love pillow, could you please tell me why? and what is it of?) Thank you.
